A Different Kind of Blog

news and things sacred and irreverent put together by opinionated people.

10 Annoying Relatives You May Have To Deal With During the Holidays

Posted by dorian on December 24, 2008

    001holidays1Ah, the holidaze…get ready, ladies, because your favorite relatives are coming out of the woodwork, and they are going to Drive You Nuts. Here is our list of the 10 most annoying relatives ever…just stay by the eggnog all night, and you should do just fine.10. The Aunt Who Wants To Know Just When Are You Getting Married?

aunt.jpgBe ye single or with partner, nothing relationship truly counts with this lady if it doesn’t come with a diamond engagement ring. When are you getting married?  Have I got just the guy for you!  Have you tried the Internet? I’ve heard it’s where all the kids are getting together!  Never mind that this aunt is trapped in a loveless marriage, she will still claim a drunk louse of a husband is better than no husband at all.  Sure, lady.

9. The Cousin Who Wants to Convert You

Have you heard about this great new religion in which everyone wears white and we all give each other new names and sing songs and hold hands?  I’ve got a pamphlet right here in my pocket.  You really should come to a service with me while you’re in town.  It will change your life!  Be warned.  This relative can take many forms.  If he’s not pushing his religion, he’s pushing Amway or she’s pushing Mary Kay or what have you.  Stay away!

8. The Future Mother-In-Law Who Just Doesn’t Understand Why You Aren’t Getting Married in a Church!

mil.JPGPraise be, did you say you’re getting married…in a state park?  Wha?  I don’t know if Father Flynn will find that appropriate.  Wait, did you just say that you’re having your best friend marry you?  And she got ordained through the computer?  Oh Lord, I feel faint.  Henry, bring me a little glass of red wine.


7. The Brother Who Wants To Borrow Money

This is a sad one.  Your brother finally moved out of the basement and is living in Topeka making his dreams come true in community theater.  Only it’s December 23 and he doesn’t have any money for gifts, so could you spot him a $20?  Better make it a $50.  Sure, he’ll pay you back as soon as he lands that next big part as a cashier at the local Target.

6. The Jerk Who Married Your Sister

jerk1.jpgIt’s not enough that he is a real pain in the ass and treats your sister like crap and has been unemployed for the past three months.  It’s that he can’t quite understand that women have the right to vote.  And he is positive that Obama is a Muslim.  And those dang homosexuals are driving us all straight to perdition.  Don’t engage him because you simply can’t fight stupidity.

Nothing is good enough for this woman.  NOTHING.  So you finally got hitched, you even changed your last name, and you bought a house in the suburbs.  But until you have a wee one mewing and screaming and begging to be fed, you simply haven’t arrived.  Advice?  If she asks when you’re going to have a baby, ask her, “I don’t know, when?”  She will be too befuddled to understand the irony.

4. The Disaffected 16-Year-Old Cousin Who Wants to Bum a Smoke


12 Responses to “10 Annoying Relatives You May Have To Deal With During the Holidays”

  1. Lawman2 said

    dorian i hope this is what you had in mind???is it ok?
    great post by the way!
    i see several of my family and in-laws are on the list..hehehe
    thank you for helping us out with the post.

    tothewire’s mom seems to be doing pretty good,she is so quiet i never really know how she is feeling.she was in bed most of the day.but each time one of the family arrived she was up and visiting with them until they left.almost like she didn’t want them to know she wasn’t feeling good.i think the pain medicine helps her a lot.


  2. Michael said

    Totally funny and cool!


  3. tothewire said

    Michael I went to your site and saw you are a student, I didn’t have enough time look around a lot but will go back and visit it again. Anyway, it looks like a great site!

    Dorian posted this one, and it is a fun one! I love it!
    Thank you Dorian!

    Here is a quick link to Michaels blog… http://greeneracres.spaces.live.com/default.aspx


  4. Rj said

    I must admit this was pretty good, even though I’m single.


  5. dorian9 said

    lawman put the intro and holiday graphic and made it happen as i was the hapless slave of last minute work and seven year old precocious niece staying with me for 2 nites/3 days while parents go shopping. i said yeas? what was i thinking.. more eggnog please.


  6. RJ said

    I saw that girl on #4 in another pic on another blog? Is she famous?


  7. tothewire said

    lol Dorian! Life just gets in our way sometimes doesn’t it! Did you save some eggnog for me???

    Rj, lawman say’s I am going to love your new post on your site, he wouldn’t tell me what it was about though…lol

    I will read it tomorrow, and I am looking forward to it! I just don’t want lawman to think he got me all worked up for it! LOL
    No, really I am very tired but can’t sleep. My eyes hurt so I know it is time to shut off the computer for now…


  8. Rj said

    Well, if lawman says you’re going to love it, then imagine that it probably has to do with something “dirty!” I’m on an ‘interesting’ streak right now.


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  12. Pa Millar said

    We are very lucky given the list above. Married in 1984. only 1 step grand father. wife’s parents moved into the same building as us….2 years later, we moved 50 Miles N…..in laws health was bad. both had to be put into care facilities…My dad had series of strokes after we moved into our home. mom did not drive. little to do with my siblings in 30 years.both are single. no children. used to visit family members throughout December. Every Friday. ..only 1 cousin was/is living in Toronto area. Not seen in 25 years. Hear a lot about this from co workers and friends. Having to visit cousins, nieces and nephews who are not seen otherwise….Do not have any nieces or nephews….relatives in 3 at 1 time 5 different Canadian Provinces & 3 US States…


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