A Different Kind of Blog

news and things sacred and irreverent put together by opinionated people.

Caveman and a day with the “girls”…

Posted by lawman2 on December 28, 2008

crb434003Today my wife had planned a day out with her 3 nieces ages 12, 15, and 17.  They must have  all been very excited because they came to our house early, like 2 hours too early!  When they arrived my wife had just started breakfast, so they ate with us…caveman doesn’t know what to think of a bunch of giggling girls at the breakfast table, so I went into the study to get away.  They curled each others hair, went thru the wife’s cloths, and put on each others make up. FINALLY they were all ready to head out to the mall or wherever women and girls hang out for a day.

I got to tell you when the door shut, I sighed a long sigh of relief!  Finally, some caveman time to do whatever the hell I wanted!  Not that I had any plans to do anything but sit and watch the History Channel, but hey maybe I wanted to do that in my briefs or maybe run around the cave in my birthday suit!  No, but if I wanted to I thought, damn finally I could without anyone telling me to cover it up!

Anywho… I was sitting and watching The Lost Pyramid, it was pretty interesting it was about archaeologists discovering the fourth of the ancient pyramids constructed on the Giza plateau…don’t know much more about it AS I didn’t get to finish it.  About 1/2 way through someone started knocking on our door.  (Don’t worry I still had my jeans and t-shirt on)

When I opened the door there stood one of my wife’s best friends Ricky and his friend…both gay men, who happen to be a couple.  I expected them to leave after I informed them that my wife was gone with her nieces and spending a day with the girls.  NO SUCH LUCK.  Ricky smiled and said “Oh that’s okay Joe we came over to see you anyway.”   WHAT THE *****!?

I must have looked as shocked as I felt, I opened the door the rest of the way and in they came.  At first it was really awkward.  They set down, (thank tothewires god, not right next to each other).  I tried to act relaxed as I started telling them what I was watching on the t.v.  but I think they could tell I wasn’t liking the situation.  I just never have felt comfortable around her gay friends, not sure why as they are always polite and civil to me. 

Rick finally stood up and said “Hey man we are heading over to shoot some hoops at the Y, thought you might wanna come along.  We have several other guys playing, but could use you on our team.”  

tas070128Now I think I should tell you THE CAVEMAN LOVES TO PLAY BBALL!  The minute the man said the magic words shoot some hoops everything but playing ball left my mind, I didn’t even think about them being gay before I said “Yeah, that’l be great.”  BUT as soon as the words were out of my mouth I regretted saying them. What the hell did he mean by “sure could use you on our team”?  Man I hope I don’t have to kick his ass, my wife will kill me!    What if I say something like “Don’t shoot the ball like a fag!”  then just two word played over and over in my mind…Damn it! Damn it!  and Damn-it!

rmcn18lIt didn’t take me long to change, and I followed them there in my car thinking all the way there…damn it, damn it, damn it!  What if the whole team is gay?  What if someone I know sees me with all those gay men?  DAMN IT, DAMN IT, DAMN IT!  What if one of them makes a pass at me?  My wife will kill me if I punch one of her friends, or their friends…Damn it, Damn it, Damn it! 

When we got out of our parked cars there were several other guys standing around, waiting on other players.  I was surprised to see one of my friends from work, who I know is straight.  I sighed a long sigh of relief for the second time today. 

After the game started I stopped looking around wondering who was gay and who was straight and just played ball.  Our team won the first and last, we only played 3  so that wasn’t too bad for an old caveman!   After the game Rick, Dave (Rick’s friend), and I went and got a bite to eat smelly and all!  I didn’t think about them being gay, I just enjoyed their company. 

It must have been pretty difficult for Rick to show up at my door, as I am sure he could tell I didn’t like it when he or any gay person came to our house.  Not because they were bad people, but instead because I was being a small person.  I feel pretty bad that I never recognized my own prejudice towards gays before today. What a hypocriteI have been!   I would tell my wife I don’t care if so and so is gay or straight…but deep down I did.  Deep down I didn’t want to be around “them” because they made me feel uncomfortable.  Uncomfortable because deep down I had a preconceived idea about what kind of people they were.   I was wrong. 

images20Rick told me how funny it was to see the look on my face when he told me they came over to see me.  They both  started laughing and talking about how I had nothing to worry about when it comes to gay men hitting on me.  I found myself defending my sexual appeal “WHAT THE HELL?  HEY NOW I AM A GOOD LOOKING HANDSOME CAVEMAN!”  Rick just shrugged and said “Don’t get me wrong you’re a good lookin caveman Joe, but you definitely don’t put off any gay vibes!”   realizing then what I had just stepped into, we all started laughing….

Dave told me before they left to tell my wife I spent a day with the “girls” too.  AND I laughed, not my usual uncomfortable laugh but  a real “your my friend” kinda laugh you have with your buddies.  It was like spending the day with just some regular guys, not at all what I thought it was going to be like. 

5602412170007193When my wife returned home with her nieces in toe, and they told me all about watching some chick flick, shopping for cloths, shopping for purses and about shopping for shoes, her nieces left.  When my wife sat down next to me, and asked “Honey did you have a good day in the cave?”  I said “Actually, some buddies and I went and shot some hoops over at the Y, and then just hung out for the day.”   She smiled, and gave me a kiss “That is nice honey, I am glad you didn’t stay home alone all day.”  Then she got up to make some grub for her caveman. Sighhhhh I do love to eat and I can smell something really good coming from the kitchen…

caveman_pcMaybe  I will tell her about my day later tonight, or maybe she can read about it tomorrow…hehehe

 

 

 

 

You can read more caveman’s perspectives from lawman Just A Caveman

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8 Responses to “Caveman and a day with the “girls”…”

  1. Elaina said

    ROFL I don’t know whether to revel in my girlishness (of which I have plenty) and make fun of you and discuss make up or just go along with the whole I’m-my-dad’s-son-with-boobs bit (of which I was forced into it by my own caveman in my life).

    Either way, I’m rolling.

    Elaina

    Like

  2. Lawman2 said

    easy now elaina you might hurt the ol’ caveman’s fragile ego…hehehe

    Like

  3. tothewire said

    Lawman you are anything but fragile! BRAT! LOL

    Enjoyed the post, and I am ROFL2

    Like

  4. obama the antichrist said

    o goodness that sounds like a heck of a day you had! ahahahahahahaha!

    Like

  5. Lawman2 said

    hey there ota! man i keep thinking i’m going to be reading a debate on the debate page with you and kay…or do you both agree on most everything?

    i love to read kay’s debates, man she diggs in!i love it!

    Like

  6. centered2 said

    I wish I hadn’t just read this.

    I wonder how you can be so quiet in person lawman, but you ramble on and on here…or maybe you are just quiet around the family?

    Like

  7. kathy (kayms91) said

    I just finally finished reading this story… I started a few days ago and got sidetracked and didn’t finish… I love it btw… you definitely have a nack for story telling Lawman!

    I think OTA and I do disagree on some things but I can’t remember what they are right now…. I’m wondering what happened to Dick? And if I’m honest.. I can’t help wondering if that was really you Lawman?? Either way I would love to continue that debate!!

    ps.. how do you manage to find these goofy caveman pictures… I love ’em!! My favorite caveman picture is on my desktop… it’s the Geico caveman in the restuarant who “doesn’t have much of an appetite”. love it!

    Like

  8. Lawman2 said

    i don’t remember dick.although i am a dick at times, i have never claimed the name here…lol i have claimed to be IAMGOD THISISGODSPEAKING WHOAMI GUESSWHO ITSMEAGAINMARGRET ILOVETHELAWMAN LAWMANROCKS can’t think of anymore,but usually they are names meant to hint to my true identity.

    rick is the one who named me the caveman to tothewire, i don’t think it was a compliment at the time…but i happen to like it so i kept the nick name. lol

    Like

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