A Different Kind of Blog

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You Call Yourself A Man?… Maybe, a Caveman!

Posted by lawman2 on January 16, 2009

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I remember when I was 16 and my dad was called to the school to pick me up.  I had been in another fight and this time they weren’t just going give me out of school suspension.  I was facing maybe juvenile hall.  When we got home dad stood outside the front yard with me to have a ‘man to man’ talk.  “Son, you’re a tall strong boy, your temper might kill someone someday if you don’t learn how to get a handle on it.”  Of course I jumped to my own defense,  the other guy had it coming, he called me an Oreo and what did YOU expect me to do, after all I am a man not a p****!  He looked me right in the eye “You call yourself a man? Your just a boy!”   I looked him right back square in the eyes “Hell if I am! I am a man!”  Well my dad kicked my ass right then and there.  He kept saying “If you think your man enough, hit me back boy.”   I never did hit him.  BUT as I walked back into the house I was wishing that whatever it was (maybe fear, maybe respect, most likely both) that was holding me back would have released me just for one good punch. 

mediaThey didn’t send me to juvenile hall and I did graduate high school.  I was pretty much a straight A student in high school, that wasn’t the problem, the problem was I  stayed in trouble for fighting.    Now as an adult I embrace the fact I can call myself white or black which ever fits my mood or helps to make my point…hehehe  BUT I didn’t like not fitting in with either race when I was a teen.

 When I was about 20 my dad called me outside to talk to me ‘man to man’.  He was worried about my grades at college they had just made it home right before I arrived on Christmas break.  He asked me the question “You call yourself a man?” me being the smart ass that I still haven’t out grown answered “Hell NO! I am just a kid dad, I have no intentions of growing up, I was kinda hoping to move back home and mooch of you and mom for the next 20 or 30 years.”   Well that got my ass kicked right then and there.   My dad was a man of little words and a whole lot of action.

 9 years later my dad called me outside his house for another “man to man” talk.  I brought home a nice girl, kinda young, but just the kind of girl they hoped I would settle down with and marry.  My dad asked “So, son you’ve never brought home a girl for us to meet before is it serious?”  me being the smart ass still “Hell NO! Dad, I’m still young, and have plenty of time for being tied down later.”  He looked me straight in the eye “You call yourself a man?”   took me back for a minute “No, dad still just a boy at heart here.”  he shook his head and walked back in the house with me. 

dca7ryzzlcayx16wucam9dsmwcaa8926ycaz5wiuacaymssvycazl807aca6v112wcaxnrgiica3w0n16cagc3ypmcaoq2031canelc1ocap912tycabuse5scab1eiavcao04luzcaric1hm2Now I am 47  just married a few short months ago.  On the day I married my pretty wife my dad and mom came over to our home for dinner.  My mom is not a quiet woman, but she isn’t a loud mouth either.   She speaks her mind,  and her heart.  I never doubted her love when I was growing up, not once.  My dad on the other hand, well like I stated before he was a man of little words and a whole lot of action.   After dinner dad and I walked outside to take a look around the place.  Dad stopped me outside the door and said “Son, do you call yourself a man?”   I wasn’t expecting him to ask that question after all I wasn’t in any kind of trouble… hehehe 

I looked him in the eyes  “Yeah, dad I do.”  He stood there smiling from ear to ear patted me on the back and said “Yep, those damn women will do that to you.”  we were chuckling as we headed off the porch and he said kind of nonchalantly “Son, I love you and I am proud of the man you have become.” 

 That is the first time I can ever remember my dad saying “I love you”.

My parents were good parents, they did the best they knew how.  I know now the reason why I resorted to fighting every time I got mad was because my dad (not intentionally) taught me to do just that.  You see I inherited more than just his blue eyes, I inherited his temper.  Dad never laid a hand on my mother nor any woman that I know of…but he sure beat the hell right out of me and my brother enough times.  I know now part of the reason why I waited to marry and have children was because I was scared of being a  bad dad.  I was scared of being a real man.  A man with a family to support, nurture, and LOVE.  

I know now the things I would do differently, and the things I would do the same as my parents.  The most important thing I know is this,  I will tell my son or daughter that I love them everyday. I will discipline in love and not out of anger.   I won’t just ask my son if he calls himself  a man, I WILL TRY AND TEACH HIM HOW TO BE A GOOD MAN.

You Can read more caveman’s perspectives from lawman Just A Caveman

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29 Responses to “You Call Yourself A Man?… Maybe, a Caveman!”

  1. […] You Call Yourself A Man? « A Different Kind of Blog […]

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  2. Great story from the heart. My children get triple the love in comparison than when i was a child. For some unclear reason, expressing love wasn’t a strong suit for my father. Only child syndrome i guess. Great blog. Enjoy all that life brings.

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  3. Lawman2 said

    thanks bill! yeah, i hope to provide a more loving home life for my future kids too.

    hey man went to your site morvacations.com!great place for anyone who is looking to take a vacation to book one with you!

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  4. tothewire said

    You’re the man! You are going to be a wonderful dad!

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  5. tothewire said

    Thomas Joe! You will always be a boy toy to me! lol

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  6. Lawman2 said

    why thanx baby! the caveman boy toy…that might just inspire a new post from me hehehe

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  7. tothewire said

    Thought you might like that!

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  8. Lawman2 said

    hey rj posted a new post…and it is a good one! hehehe http://thearjayconception.com/2009/01/16/the-ultimate-release/

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  9. tothewire said

    I’ll check it out later tonight! I love RJ’s site!

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  10. Lawman2 said

    you won’t be home later tonight baby we have a date…hehehe

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  11. centered2 said

    Your dad was quite the hell raiser back in the day. I remember! Do you remember the time he came up to the campus and stayed with us? AND kicked some guys butt at the off campus bar?

    Man I was scared of your dad!

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  12. centered2 said

    The first time I ever got drunk in my life was with your dad! He had to carry me back to the truck to take us back to the dorms!

    He was really proud of you though, surely you knew that? He bragged to everyone about how you were achieving things most people only wished for their kids.

    I remember him telling you not to try and get to close to “those upper class, snobby, daddy is paying their way to University types.” You looked over and winked at me while I just squirmed in my seat! He was very proud of you and still is.

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  13. centered2 said

    Tothewire said you bought your dad a new truck? What kind? Good for you Lawman!

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  14. Lawman2 said

    It’s no big deal just a damn ol’ chevy.but he was sure suprised when i dropped it off!hehehe

    i thought you were going to write a new post on marriage or divorce or something?

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  15. centered2 said

    I don’t know. I am praying things work out, I love her and I just don’t understand.

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  16. Lawman2 said

    sorry man.

    hey maybe you can write a post after our trip tomorrow!

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  17. Lawman2 said

    OK kids we are going out tonight! You all play nice…hehehe

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  18. You cannot stay away forever cooter brain, back you will be, few hours see you I will.

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  19. Lawman2 said

    what the hell?well back i am indeed

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  20. Lawman2 said

    cooter brain must have been meaning ol’centered2!

    cooter?where the hell are you from e?

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  21. tothewire said

    Hey E_E guess who was all whiny tonight because 3 days until countdown??? lol I think I’ve been hearing some whimpering coming from the conservative base…

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  22. lol, I would like to point out I have some conservative views (not very many but still enough for me not to comfortably say I am Liberal minded.) And I am from the deep south, Florida to be exact. Before you say there are more northerners in Florida than in the north I must say I was raised in a very redneck part of Florida. I am surprised I have the intelligence I do must get it from my uncle. I mean just by my family name a lone you would be able to tell where my family is from, if you know your history. Most of my family comes from Tennessee and Kentucky, so I have southern vocabulary sometimes. Cooter, tater, Y’all, widjadidja all words that I say from time to time.

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  23. RJ said

    I have a question for the “men” based on this post….how do you know when you’re a “man”…versus..I don’t know…a “non-man”. What defines it for you?

    In my speech and writing, I have used the term “real men”…and “men” get really pissed off…Can I no define what a real man is…to me?

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  24. Lawman2 said

    i guess it depends on what kind of “man” your looking for…there are all kinds of “real men”.

    to you what is your ideal man or a “real man”?

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  25. tothewire said

    lol real men vs not so real men…

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  26. ajlouny said

    That was a great story. One more future “good” parent is born.

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  27. tothewire said

    ajlouny good to read you here again. your comment was held in the spam.sorry about that.thanks,i hope to be,and will give fatherhood my best effort.

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  28. Lawman2 said

    sorry was logged in under tothewire.i have to log in under her to do admin work on the site.anyway thanks again

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  29. tothewire said

    Why don’t you delete the comments that you made under my name? I can’t stand it when you guys do that! We need to make you an administrator I guess.

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