A Different Kind of Blog

news and things sacred and irreverent put together by opinionated people.

Week in Politics… hehehe

Posted by lawman2 on February 8, 2009

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“This week in Washington, President Obama took time out from his busy day to read a book to a group of second graders. Did you see that on the news? It was a fairy tale about a cabinet nominee who once paid all his taxes.” –Jay Leno

“As you know, Tom Daschle withdrew his name to be in Obama’s cabinet, due to IRS problems. Yeah, he said, ‘I will not be a distraction.’ See, distraction is Washington talk for, ‘Uh-oh, there’s a lot more crap you don’t know about yet.'” –Jay Leno

“Wasn’t it just a couple months ago, these people were making fun of Joe the Plumber for not paying his taxes?” –Jay Leno

i-screwed-up

Nation, last night, President Obama called his handling of the Tom Daschle nomination ‘a mistake.’ This is great news, because we all know that a president only admits to a mistake at the end of his term. So it is official: The Obama administration is over” —Stephen Colbert

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“I don’t want to just ruin everybody’s day, but there is discouraging news everywhere. Unemployment is high. Foreclosure rate is high. Michael Phelps is high.” —David Letterman

lipstuck-pig-sb0206d“The White House issued a statement today saying that the reason their nominees are having such trouble is that the new White House has set the bar very high. See, that shows you what’s wrong with politics in this country. That’s what the government considers setting the bar high, having to pay taxes like everybody else in America.” –Jay Leno

“And today, President Obama announced a salary cap of $500,000 for executives at banks and companies that have received taxpayer bailout money. And you know — it is good. But I’ll tell you something, you can tell a lot of these CEOs don’t get it. They said, ‘Well, that’s $500,000 a month, right?'” —Jay Leno

“And Wells Fargo, who got almost $25 billion in bailout money, has canceled a pricey 12-day corporate trip to Las Vegas. And I think they learned their lesson, because they really scaled things back. They’re not doing Vegas anymore. Now, it’s a one-day pie eating contest in Laughlin.” —Jay Leno

“And Citigroup, who received a huge bailout from the government, owns the naming rights to the New York Mets’ new stadium. It is currently called Citi Field, but because of Barack Obama’s crackdown on the Federal bailout money, Citigroup will legally have to change the name of the stadium to Money Grubbing Bastards Field.” –-Jay Leno

“Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi recently said that every month that we do not have an economic recovery package, ‘500 million Americans lose their jobs.’ I think the Botox is starting to seep into her brain.” —Jay Leno

“And the US Postal Service says they may cut postal service from six days to five days a week. They say they’re losing money because people aren’t using the postal service as much as they used to. If you’d like to complain, you can e-mail the complaint to uspostalservice.com.” –Jay Leno

The new US energy secretary predicts agriculture in California will disappear in this century because of global warming. He said people in California will no longer grow crops, except those who are growing them in their basements, attics, and garages.” —Jay Leno

“Either today or yesterday, Barack Obama said Americans are ‘sick and tired’ of people ‘being rewarded for failure.’ Is he talking about me?” —David Letterman

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“And you know that woman here in California who just had the eight kids and has six more at home?’ Well, today, Tom Daschle proposed to her. He’s not in love, he just needs the deductions. ‘Please marry me, please!'” —Jay Leno

You Can read more caveman’s perspectives from lawman Just A Caveman

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2 Responses to “Week in Politics… hehehe”

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