A Different Kind of Blog

news and things sacred and irreverent put together by opinionated people.

Caveman’s Valentines Gift List

Posted by lawman2 on February 10, 2009

 caveman-valentine

My wife gave me my Valentines gift early this year…she is pregnant with our first child! 

I need to come up with a gift that is better than any gift any of her friends will be receiving for Valentines Day!  Something really spectacular.  I thought about the trip to Italy we missed in December, but our schedules are way to hectic right now for more than a weekend away.  

I have really been stumped on trying to plan a big day and weekend for her.  I thought I should start with a nice gift or two.  Decided to google “Valentine Gifts” .  Wow there were pages and pages of sites!  I had to refine my search term…”Unique Valentine Gifts”  clicked on the first link http://www.baronbob.com/funnyvalentinegift.htm

these are some I found most interesting:

 1)  Valentines Toilet Paper?  I can see the look on her beautiful face now if I were to give this to her saying “Honey I love you so much I want you to think of me every time you wipe your ass!”

JustPaperRoses, Inc. - Is there a better way to say "I Love You From Top To Bottom"?

JustPaperRoses, Inc. - Is there a better way to say "I Love You From Top To Bottom"?

 

2) How about the pillow cases that don’t match our bedroom decor?

The great thing of these pillowcases is that they belong side-by-side, like you two!

The great thing of these pillowcases is that they belong side-by-side, like you two!

 

3) The mate remote delivers a riot of verbal one-offs and funny sound effects sure to keep your spouse on the right track. Right!  Like my wife wouldn’t kick my ass if I brought one of these home!

contolyourmanlarge

 

4) FANNY FLOSS, For All Those Hard to Reach Areas… When you just can’t get it out any other way! The floss proctologists recommend most.  What do you think she would do if I gave her this?

Fanny Floss is a special material that is made to slide easily between even the tightest cheeks without chafing or abrading. Proctologists recommend regular flossing. Flossing has been clinically proven to remove dingleberries between cheeks to help prevent bum disease.

Fanny Floss is a special material that is made to slide easily between even the tightest cheeks without chafing or abrading. Proctologists recommend regular flossing. Flossing has been clinically proven to remove dingleberries between cheeks to help prevent bum disease.

 

5) From Moses mouth to your toilet, bet you never thought this famous quote could have this kind of double entendre.  You were wrong…

The Let My People Go Toilet Seat Cover takes the biblical phrase to a hole new level.

The Let My People Go Toilet Seat Cover takes the biblical phrase to a hole new level.

 6)“Wow! Oh My Gosh! Holy Crap!

bra

 7) This might land me in divorce court

The Inflatable Wife will increase budget busting shopping sprees by 100% guaranteed.  In fact, she'll just sit on the couch right next to you during the game and never ever complain.

The Inflatable Wife will increase budget busting shopping sprees by 100% guaranteed. In fact, she'll just sit on the couch right next to you during the game and never ever complain.

 

bb_topgifts_menThe list does go on!  I still haven’t decided on what I will get my wife, or what I will do to make Valentines special this year…BUT I know what I won’t be buying at least! hehehe

You Can read more caveman’s perspectives from lawman Just A Caveman

 

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7 Responses to “Caveman’s Valentines Gift List”

  1. tothewire said

    The remote! Darn I have been waiting for one of those my whole life, for that and the fanny floss! The toilet paper would be such a romantic gift! What comes with the male blow up doll? Oh I know it comes with a brain maybe?

    Like

  2. douglaskev said

    the pillowcases. you cant possibly get in trouble for hitting her with a pillow that says i love you.

    lol j/k tothewire

    Like

  3. tothewire said

    Where is number 6?

    Like

  4. lawman2 said

    i was waiting for that question!saved that until now!hehehe

    Like

  5. tothewire said

    You didn’t notice it did you? You lost count! LOL

    Right you saved that one for last? BS Lawman you would have saved the floss if any! Or maybe the blow up wife…

    Like

  6. tothewire said

    Kevin has a point about the pillowcases!

    Like

  7. […] Caveman’s Valentines Gift List « A Different Kind of Blog […]

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