A Different Kind of Blog

news and things sacred and irreverent put together by opinionated people.

Caveman: “Damn Baby! How many shoes does one girl need?”

Posted by lawman2 on February 21, 2009


Today I found my wife’s hidden stash!  I have noticed before that she seemed to wear a different pair of shoes almost everyday, but I would never have guessed just how many pairs of shoes she has! 

We have really 3 extra bedrooms in our house, the room closest to ours we have decided to convert into our baby’s room.  I went in there and sat down in the big comfy rocker we just bought last week to add to the decor of the room.  I started to doze off a bit, dreaming of what it was going to be like to have a little cave person running around our quiet house.  With my eyes half open, half closed my head started to bob just a bit and I sat up quickly, suddenly completely awake.  I stood up to stretch, and what to my wondering eyes did appear?  No, not that ever so elusive Santa!  I just noticed the closet doors were half open so I walked over to close them.  I opened one up just to take a peek inside, and there all stacked up neatly were 225 shoe boxes!  225! 


On the left  were 71 boxes each neatly marked black, blue, grey, white, red, or brown dress shoes. 

In the middle were 10 marked white heals, 11marked grey heels, 15marked black heels, 11marked brown heels, 8 marked off white heels, 4 marked blue, 4 marked purple, 8 marked red heels, 5 marked green, 2 yellow heels, and 3 pink heels.

On the right73 more boxes separated by names (guess designer names) each with a little squiggly line displaying the color.  

In the next closet I found 71 more shoe boxes each marked by color and tennis shoe,  sandal, or flip flops. 


Nothing hanging in the 1st closet but above on a rack the were purses.  Neatly closed and when you open each up they have crumbled up brown paper for some reason stuffed tightly in them.  61 different colors, shapes and sizes was how many purses there were sitting neatly in the closet.


2nd closet had 32 jackets and coats, separated by color hanging neatly above the shoes.

bkr0111l1UGH! All that math gives the ol’ caveman a headache!

WHAT THE HELL?  WHY would anyone have a total of 296 pairs of shoes still in the boxes?  I know she has more (12 to be exact) in our bed room that she keeps in a shoe hanging thingy.  WHY would anyone need 61 purses?  AND just how damn cold would it have to get before a person would need 32 coats?


To think this woman was all upset wondering how she was going to make room for my things when we first married!  I have 8 pairs of shoes, and 2 coats.  I do have a lot of suits… 7 blue, 6 gray, 6 black, and 5 brown. Mind you she has more suit dresses and pants than I do…LOL

I actually love the way my wife dresses, her taste in cloths and shoes would catch anyone’s eye.  I am always proud to be seen with her anywhere we go.  With that said, I still would like to know if anyone else out there thinks the amount of shoes, purses, and jackets is a bit excessive and too great of a number to be reasonable?

AND I am just wondering where the hell are we going to put our baby’s cloths and shoes? hehehe


You Can read more caveman’s perspectives from lawman Just A Caveman


29 Responses to “Caveman: “Damn Baby! How many shoes does one girl need?””

  1. tothewire said

    I like shoes get over it.

    I’ll move everything into one of the other rooms.


  2. Lawman2 said

    i see that now 296 pairs of you like shoes! is that like a fetish or something? maybe i should change the title to my wife’s secret fetish! hehehe


  3. Lawman2 said

    do you touch them before you touch me? lol


  4. tothewire said

    No, I just like touching them more than I do you! BRAT!


  5. Lawman2 said

    baby don’t do me like that! come over here and rub your shoes while you rub on me and i’ll let you know if it does anything for me…hehehe


  6. tothewire said



  7. Lawman2 said

    now baby you know i like it when you say naughty things in my ear, but it just isn’t as appealing reading them for me! lol


  8. tothewire said

    delete these comments lawman


  9. Lawman2 said

    okay, maybe later


  10. tothewire said

    I can’t believe you wrote a post about my shoes!


  11. Lawman2 said

    make you feel special did it?

    baby come back into the office and rub my back…lol


  12. tothewire said

    Okay, maybe later… HEHEHE


  13. tothewire said

    You are so condescending! You have so many big boy toys that it is ridiculous!


  14. Lawman2 said

    what you don’t like my hehehe’s?

    i found her secret shoe stash,
    turned it into a news flash!
    i’m still smilin’!
    wifes still cryin’!

    it may be a fetish, i’m not sure,
    economy sucks, you may need a cure!
    better watch your investment spending…
    do i really come across as condescending?

    28 sec


  15. tothewire said

    I don’t feel like playing your rhyming game right now!


  16. Lawman2 said

    then are you in the mood to rub my back yet? lol


  17. tothewire said

    Why don’t you spend some more time in one of my closets..AND SHUT THE DOOR!


  18. Lawman2 said



  19. justagirlinmissouri said

    You two crack me up! I love reading your blog daily!


  20. justagirlinmissouri said

    I have quite a few shoes myself. I keep them all in boxes too. It actually feels good to know there are others who share my “fetish”! lol


  21. Lawman2 said

    hey there girlinmissouri where you from? hehehe


  22. Lawman2 said

    welcome to the blog! and glad you enjoy!


  23. tothewire said

    I bet all that math has given you a headache! Maybe you need to go to bed early tonight and sleep it off!


  24. okathleen said

    I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty.

    So said Imelda Marcos, so don’t worry Caveman, you’ve got a long way to go!!



  25. Lawman2 said

    guess you have a point there kat! i don’t think i can count that high!


  26. dorian9 said

    here we have
    a secret imelda
    two twenty five
    not counting the nine
    if it’s the number
    that baffled the caveman
    it’s the order
    that impressed the dorian

    34 seconds. darn.


  27. Lawman2 said

    lol dorian thats my girl! my secret imelda! been a busy day very glad you been checking in on the blog!


  28. Hello, the whole thing is going sound here and ofcourse every one is sharing information, thats actually excellent, keep up writing.


  29. Hi! It’s the best! Congrats


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