A Different Kind of Blog

news and things sacred and irreverent put together by opinionated people.

How to be a bad poet

Posted by Peter Kenneally on July 21, 2009

There is a Bad Poetry Explosion,
and you can be part of it!

Thus begins The Bad Poetry Seminar by Sparrow, which teaches the undeniable truth about today’s Poetry Renaissance: Poetry is on the upswing and much of what is being written is bad — really bad. Now, there are those who will tell you that bad poetry is actually good, and although I wouldn’t go quite that far, bad poetry does have its place. The fact is, at slams and open mikes across the country, actually at just about any poetry reading you go to, you’re bound to hear some doozies and you’ll have to admit, bad poetry makes the good stuff really shine.

So, without further ado, sharpen your wits and pencils and get ready for the Bad Poetry Seminar. With a click of the mouse you’ll:

(a) discover how rapidly the percentage of bad poetry is rising,
(b) explore the history of bad poetry,
(c) learn how to differentiate a good bad poem, a mediocre bad poem and a bad bad poem, &
(d) join in chanting the Bad Poetry Anthem.

Once you feel like you’ve got a handle on things, try your hand at writing a few stinkers yourself. There are a host of resources out there just waiting to critique your work and even some set-up to help you whip up a masterpiece on the fly. Who knows, once you’ve finished your course of study, you may even be ready to start up your own seminar.

You can also visit Very Bad Poetry:

Welcome to the last refuge for the world’s worst poetry.

It’s difficult to understand how, in this age of information, poems that merely miss the mark can be tossed into the cold world to fend for themselves, only to whither and be forgotten.

Well, not quite the last refuge. There’s always the Bad Poetry generator

Mendel’s Serenade

i just wanna make you scream

though his foot dared cross the line, once drawn

which will destroy the seam

he munched on a salad of lettuce, cheese and prawn

or

Mendel’s Serenade

i just wanna make you scream

I wonder what Nietzsche would say about this

winding road of starlaced dreams

I don’t believe people really contribute to this

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7 Responses to “How to be a bad poet”

  1. dorian said

    well finally! i’ve asked about this a while back. i have a lifetime’s collection to contribute. maybe they will have a home at last. i’ll gather up the one-minute poems i wrote on adkob. maybe lawman would like to enter his as well??

    Like

  2. PRINCESSXXX said

    hey dorian,
    i had an affair with a poet
    back in the day when i was an object of desire.
    his name was indigo,
    just indigo.
    lived in NYC.
    used to host poetry slams at nuyoricans poets cafe.
    spoke and taught latin.
    he had an enormous schlong.
    i’m sure i mentioned this before.
    the most beautiful poem he ever wrote for me was.

    “i’m so glad you didn’t ask me to wear a condom,
    want to go get something to eat?”

    if anyone know the whereabouts of indigo the poet,
    please get in touch with me.
    i hate condoms and i love to eat.

    and i call this bad poem, “LONGING FOR A BIG SCHLONG AND A SANDWICH”

    i composed this one in 4 minutes 20 seconds.

    Like

  3. dorian said

    hehe. okay, into the the envelope it goes, along with my other entries!

    Like

  4. dorian said

    ‘maroooned …maroooned…i’m on a lagooon…’

    i’m a new fan of raymond j. bartholomew, poet.

    Like

  5. Who would have known that about.com and “Sparrrow” was such an authority about poetry. And, of course, only ye pastoral and epic poetry of old is valid poetry, as so correctly claimed by “Sparrow.” Good work, Dorian.

    Like

  6. Here. You can get all goobally about this:
    See, see the Assertive sky
    Marvel at its big Purple depths.
    Tell me, Flash do you
    Wonder why the homo sapiens ignores you?
    Why its foobly stare
    makes you feel sluggish.
    I can tell you, it is
    Worried by your darksuck facial growth
    That looks like
    A broccoli.
    What’s more, it knows
    Your flatulent potting shed
    Smells of leaf.
    Everything under the big Assertive sky
    Asks why, why do you even bother?
    You only charm Dogs.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/hitchhikers/vogonpoetry/lettergen.shtml?redirect=displaypreview&toName=John%20Lloyd%20Scharf&toEmail=johnlloydscharf@yahoo.com&mother=Assertive&rude=flatulent&green=leaf&fridge=broccoli&animal=homo%20sapiens&colour=Purple&friend=Flash&x=142&y=10&morning=sluggish&madeup=darksuck&smell=Dog

    Like

  7. infiintari pfa iasi

    “[…]How to be a bad poet « A Different Kind of Blog[…]”

    Like

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